Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Of efforts and results.

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim.

Just a short post. Sebab terjumpa contengan ni di nota CH. Rasa macam dapat pencerahan ni masa study week 2nd Pro tahun lepas. Dari Muqaddimah Fi Zilal kalau tak silap.


Rupanya, it's not just about usaha ➡ hasil/natijah. It's beyond that.

Memahami dan mengimani bahawa adanya Allah di atas setiap usaha dan natijah kita ternyata sangat penting.

Supaya kita tidak terus kalah dengan lemah, lemas dalam malas. Agar kita tidak terus meninggi dengan prestasi dan merasakan hasil yang kita peroleh adalah sebab usaha kita semata-mata.

Paling penting, konsep ini adalah konsep yang sangat manusiawi dan rabbani. Kita bersungguh-sungguh berbuat sebab Allah, dan kita cuba untuk follow bentuk usaha yang Allah prefer, lalu berserah kepada Allah dalam urusan usaha. In shaa Allah ada pahala tersedia. Kita menerima apa-apa natijah dengan sabar syukur redha. In shaa Allah ada juga ganjaran untuk kita. 😎

Subhanallahi wa bihamdihi, Subhanallah al-'azim. ✨

Mode end posting exam, on.
Esok theory exam, Community Health.
Lusa Obstetrics pula. 

Salam 22 Ramadhan semua, teruskan menanam niat yang baik baik, doa yang baik-baik, zikir yang baik-baik, ingat, sangka dan bayang benda baik-baik. Semoga yang hadir dalam hari-hari kita, hal yang baik-baik biiznillah.


Peminat CH dan O&G,
Pandan Indah.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Off Porenjes and Faith

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim.

It has been a while.

But composing blog post is one of my Ramadhan 1439H resolutions.

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Approaching end-posting exam, around two weeks more;
and you know your current performance isn't that good, or well; 
you know you don't practice enough, you're not reading enough, you don't know much; 
you know you're taking your responsibilities as a student quite bad, and your accountability is zzz; Somehow makes you worry. 

but it is even worst, when you realize your worry or anxiety doesn't really help at the moment. because you notice that you're being derelict and neglectful in your duty. which is not good, and you know that fact. 


and you know that Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves [Ar-Ra'd 13:13], that makes you feel terrible then. you start to be frustrated on yourself, you start to blame yourself, you start to welcome all negative vibes, you start to lose your confidence, inferiority complex etc etc. Yes, you try to gain motivation and some push, but you know better- among your biggest mistakes is, you just don't start overcoming and working, yet. 

Astaghfirullah 'ala kulli zanbin.
There is none worthy of worship but You, glory is to You. Surely, I was among the wrongdoers.

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'Ala kulli hal, alhamdulillah. Eventhough you are abandoning yourself, there is always The One who'll never ever leave you. who will always take care of you, fulfill your daily needs, wake you up in the morning (and every time you sleep zz), providing 1001 helps around you, remind you in any ways He wants, and He is sooo close to you.

the moment you asked your Porenjes, "How to have faith/believe in yourself?", and this was what you get..



you was like T__T fair enough, you don't have faith in yourself, but is there any ways for you to not having faith in Allah? Fine, you can't see any hope for you, but do you dare enough to say Allah is not offering you any hopes or helps?

now stop frustrating and condemning yourself.
Remember your promise to yourself earlier?
be easy on yourself, just work extra hard with extra istighfar, extra du'as.




You have reached this far anyway. Keep it going, continue those steps. 
Worry not, whatever comes, comes.

----

Dear Ramadhan (and end posting exam),
I approach you with humility. I do not come with a mile long to-do list, with a set of goals, gorgeous efforts and spirit. I come to you as heavy-hearted slave, empty-handed, barefoot and broken. I am in need of Allah's generosity in this month. I am in need of Allah's mercy in this month. I am in need of Allah's forgiveness in this month. Without it, I am lost, and alone.


"My Lord, indeed I am, for whatever good You would send down to me, in need."


You don't need another mission, You just need Him as your vision.
Ihsan, Itqan.




that you,
fourth year eighth semester

fourth major posting
Pandan Indah.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Along with the God; Muraqabatullah


Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim.

Throwback sikit. Terjebak dengan #alongwiththegods sewaktu di Tampin; saya menyeru diri sendiri untuk tadabbur dan rasakan dengan sudut hati paling dalam, 6 perkara.

1. Merasai keberadaan dan kekuasaan Allah yang Esa, satu-satunya yang Maha Kuasa, Maha Adil, Maha Pemberi Balasan.

2. Meyakini betapa akhirat itu benar-benar wujud, bahkan beyond dari babak-babak yang cuba digambarkan dalam cerita #alongwiththegods.

3. Menghayati hakikat bahawa setiap perkara/perbuatan/perkataan yang kita lakukan/lafazkan (walau sekecil-kecil perkara, baik atau buruk) kelak akan dihitung dan dipertanggungjawabkan ke atas kita sendiri.

4. Menyedari betapa syahadah yang kita lafaz-lafazkan, ada tuntutannya yang perlu kita langsaikan. 

Tidak cukup solat puasa ibadah fardi semata, syahadah kita menuntut seluruh kehidupan, jiwa, tenaga dan harta kita untuk menegakkan kalimah Allah Yang Esa.

5. Kembalikanlah diri kita kepada Allah, tanpa rasa putus asa dengan rahmat-Nya, peruntukkan masa untuk menghidupkan Al-Quran dalam kehidupan kita.

6. Hiduplah dengan sunnah Rasulullah, dari sekecil-kecil amalan sehinggalah sebesar-besar sunnah; Dakwah & Tarbiyah itu sendiri.

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Dalam beberapa sitting and meeting dengan junior pun, selalu juga rasa tak boleh move on dengan cerita ini. Selalu rasa macam sentap, malu pada diri sendiri yang dibiarkan hidup by default, just follow the flow tanpa rasa well-concious betapa akhirat itu dekat, dan Allah sebenarnya sangat memerhati dan melihat.

Somehow rasa tak boleh terima dengan keculasan diri sendiri pada hari-hari bekerja atas dunia, yang sebenarnya sangat sementara. Di saat seharusnya, seruan Al-Hasyr ayat 18 aku sambut dengan kemas, pasakkan dalam hati dan menjadikan amal ku sebagai terjemahan. 

Astaghfirullah. Laa ilaaha illa anta, subhanaka inni kuntu min az-zalimin..

Mesej akhir, 
🥇 Kenali diri, kenali Tuhan.
🥇 Dunia ini benar-benar permainan yang fana dan sementara.
🥇 Tarbiyah dan Pembentukan adalah jalan menuju kemenangan ✨


Kuala Lumpur.